William Goldman was one of the most successful Hollywood screenwriters.
Amongst other films, he wrote: Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, Marathon Man, All The President’s Men, A Bridge Too Far, Misery, and Heat.
He’s also written some great books about screenwriting.
The most famous one is Adventures In the Screen Trade.
These aren’t just books full of technical tips about how to write a screenplay.
They’re really interesting books about how human beings function.
This is very useful for us.
Because the one thing that never changes is people.
And that’s our medium.
One of the tips he gives is how to write a sellable screenplay.
He says you don’t get specific in the description.
You don’t write, “Open on the interior of a bar. The door is kicked open, and a six foot tall man stands there. He has windswept blonde hair, and piercing blue eyes that survey the room.”
You don’t write that.
You don’t write that because what happens when you send the script to Dustin Hoffman, or Tom Cruise, or Samuel L. Jackson?
They can see in the first paragraph, that it’s not them.
By being too specific, you’ve painted yourself into a corner.
What you should write is, “Open on the interior of a bar. The door is kicked open and the powerful presence of a man dominates the space. He seems to fill the room as his eyes travel piercingly over everyone present, as if he could see into their minds.”
That’s what you write.
Because it’s not specific.
It allows anyone from Arnold Schwarzenegger to Danny DeVito to see themselves in that part.
Many movie stars know they aren’t six foot tall, with blonde hair and blue eyes.
But every movie star thinks they can dominate a room with their presence.
So you don’t write what’s in your head.
You write what’s in their head.
It’s the same for us.
When we’re selling a script to a roomful of clients, we don’t sell them what’s in our head.
We sell them what’s in their head.
So I wouldn’t write, “Our hero pulls up in the most stylish car in the world. A maroon, Bentley Continental mark 1, with Mulliner coachwork. The body flowing in a straight line from the roof to the rear bumper.”
That may well be my idea of the most stylish car there is.
But you know around the table there will be as many opinions as people.
Someone will say, “Bentleys are very old fashioned. What about a Ferrari?”
Someone else will say, “Or a Lamborghini, they’re sexy in yellow.”
Someone else will say, “Or the new Audi. I fancy one of those.”
Someone else will say, “If he can have any car he wants, what about a HumVee, they’re great.”
And the idea doesn’t get sold because everyone’s upset that whatever car is specified, it’s not their idea of the best car in the world.
So, taking a lesson from Goldman, we write it differently.
“Our hero pulls up in the car anyone would have if they could afford anything. Gleaming coachwork, polished chrome, long curving lines. As it gently purrs to a halt, he leaves the leather interior and closes the door with a deeply satisfying thunk.”
And six different clients see six different cars in the commercial.
An Audi, a Ferrari, a Lamborghini, a Bentley, a HumVee, or anything else.
The idea being that it’s easier to sell someone what’s in their mind, than what’s in your mind.
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Utterly brilliant. This one’s being forwarded around the agency.
I guess today the question would be “What if he was a she?”.
Goldman had trouble with being specific too.
I vaguely remember him writing Ryan O’Neill’s part in ‘A Bridge Too Far’ and the studio execs trying to blow it out of the water as they couldn’t get their heads round a general being so young, even though the character was not a work of fiction.
In Marathon Man, Hoffman didn’t like his character reaching for a torch because he didn’t want to be seen by his fans as being afraid of the dark.
Dave, slip the Bentley Continental Mark 1 into the next script for Daihatsu presented to a room full of clients, and I’ll happily furnish you with a gleaming yellow make of food product with long smooth curves flowing in one direction.
I understand this is a technique for getting ideas bought, but what happens when it comes to turning the script in to reality? You’ll have to get specific at some point. So is this just delaying the inevitable?
Hi Sam,
In my experience people have a lot less problem with pictures than they do words.
A picture of a fabulous car will look great, everyone can see that.
It only gets to be a problem because words are more specific.
Remember, right-brain is visuals and feelings, left-brain is words and reasoning.
When it’s a script it’s words so it’s left brain.
Once it’s shot it’s a picture so it’s right brain.
great point dave. i’ve often been struck by the difference between the TV script i presented (to sell the idea) and the finished product.
watched princess bride last night w kids. best kids movie ever? maybe.
Useful analogy.
I often see account handlers caught up in knots trying to present an idea. If planning is thinking of the consumer first, I suppose presentating ideas is thinking of your audience in the same way.
Audience comes first
Content is second
You are last
Vinny,
For me it’s a tie between The Princess Bride
and Stand By Me.
Ciaran
Hey Dave,
You might want to have a word with this journo or people will think you are Rodney’s brother…
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/web-satires-trigger-tory-ads-rethink-1899541.html
Whelan
ciaran, think mine are a bit young yet for STAND BY ME. they’re the LION KING generation. no scary bits! eek!
Dave
Doesn’t copy have to read like specific images…not abstractions? Surely verbal themes have to be eventually turned into something specific. There is plenty of time for the non-visionaries to interject. At the end of the day isn’t it all about conviction? At some point we have to put our balls, sorry, reputation, on the line. Who has ever threatened to jump out of a window or something similar if the client didn’t run one of our ads?!
Vinny and Ciaran
Try Amy Adams in Enchanted for the kids.
Hi Dave
“In my experience people have a lot less problem with pictures than they do words”. Which might explain why every client/account man who’s ever written a birthday card to their mum likes to hack at a piece of carefully crafted, well thought out copy.
Roger that Dave. Received and understood.
Been there. Done that. But for me, it wasn’t about the make of the car. It was the color. The friggin color! Spot was never made. Never got past that. Princess Bride. So excellent. Try “The Last Mimsy” for kids and adults. Quite exceptional.
This is so, so true. I’ve been meaning to post about this very subject for weeks and you have nailed it. In advertising or selling if we can paint the beginning of the picture and brand value so consumers personalize it or internalize it, everyone wins. (Like Hemingway who used dialogue to deliver the exposition.)
http://ex-blank-page.blogspot.com/2010/02/in-reply-to-daves-great-posts-117.html
Although, if it’s winter in London or New York, please do include palm trees and sandy beaches in your script. Also, I didn’t know you drove a Bentley Continental, Dave.
brilliant advice.
keep ‘em coming.
Rob, John, Vinny and Ciaran, I heartily recommend “Up”.
Thanks for that Dave,
I’ve just been talking to a friend about my submission for this year’s RA Summer exhibition. I don’t think I’ve got a cat in hell’s chance. I don’t even know if I like the painting myself, but I don’t have to like it, that’s the job of the judges. Everyone else seems to like it. We also discussed which way up it should go and the name for it.
I’ve decided not to state which way up it goes. That’s just an opinion.
My friend told me as soon as I name it I’m placing it in a box of referenced thought.
He’s right. So I’ve decided to give it a number with dots in between. Nobody can get emotional about a number with dots in between except me, because I’m the only one who knows what the numbers refer to. As far as I know there are no Chinese on the judging panel.
The important thing is just to enter it and see what happens. I’m really enjoying my painting like never before, and my friend who is an abstract artist has really helped me.
He tells me he can’t paint form to save his life, and yet every time I see his work I get inspired and every time he sees my stuff the same thing happens to him.
At one point I feared my creative juices were dead. I’m pleased to say they’re not,
They are very much alive, they’ve just changed medium.
Tony (my friend) tells me I’m an expressionist. I’m really happy! Ha Ha!